Gutted today to discover that my childhood home (the first one I remember and the one I have fondest memories of) has been torn down.
All that remains is a small piece of foundation and an overgrown garden.
I will admit to having a bit of a lip wobble.
Tuesday 27 July 2010
Friday 23 July 2010
This gives me an idea...
Last night as I was entertaining myself counting peaches (stock taking is SUCH fun) I caught sight of something odd out of the corner of my eye. I turned round, taking in the horrified face of the girl on the deli counter to see a family of 4 wandering up the produce aisle complete with trolley, baby in all terrain buggy and small child riding a bike around the supermarket.
Now, maybe I'm just a tad old fashioned, but I must admit that at the time I was a smidgeon shocked... in my youth we certainly didn't ride our bikes in the supermarket (and yes, bikes, and indeed supermarkets were invented then) nor did we run around screaming, yelling, swinging off the fixtures or licking items of produce and putting them back. Jeez we missed out on a lot of fun.
Now I've had time to consider, I've actually come up with a brilliant idea. Drive through supermarkets, admittedly allowing customers to bring in full size motor vehicles may prove a little dangerous (half of them are borderline with a trolley) but we could issue golf carts with shopping baskets attached. I have visions of one way systems and traffic lights... and, and, and... all the staff would have Segways, AWESOME. Think I may just mention it to the manager when I see him.
Also, I found this humourossly (I'm sure that's the right spelling but it doesn't look right to me) shaped butternut squash that I wanted to share with the world. Seriously, I'm sure half my colleagues think I'm a bit strange, the other half just haven't spent enough time with me yet.
I spotted it whilst taking stock, when I went back to whip it off the shelf for it's 15 minutes of fame I had to make a swift dive into hiding as I spotted my husbands crazy ex girlfriend loitering in the vicinity. This gave me a dilemma as I REALLY wanted a picture of the funny squash but on the other hand if I'd gone back and it had gone I would know SHE'D bought it and this would have made me wee.
If only every day at work could be so entertaining.
Now, maybe I'm just a tad old fashioned, but I must admit that at the time I was a smidgeon shocked... in my youth we certainly didn't ride our bikes in the supermarket (and yes, bikes, and indeed supermarkets were invented then) nor did we run around screaming, yelling, swinging off the fixtures or licking items of produce and putting them back. Jeez we missed out on a lot of fun.
Now I've had time to consider, I've actually come up with a brilliant idea. Drive through supermarkets, admittedly allowing customers to bring in full size motor vehicles may prove a little dangerous (half of them are borderline with a trolley) but we could issue golf carts with shopping baskets attached. I have visions of one way systems and traffic lights... and, and, and... all the staff would have Segways, AWESOME. Think I may just mention it to the manager when I see him.
Also, I found this humourossly (I'm sure that's the right spelling but it doesn't look right to me) shaped butternut squash that I wanted to share with the world. Seriously, I'm sure half my colleagues think I'm a bit strange, the other half just haven't spent enough time with me yet.
I spotted it whilst taking stock, when I went back to whip it off the shelf for it's 15 minutes of fame I had to make a swift dive into hiding as I spotted my husbands crazy ex girlfriend loitering in the vicinity. This gave me a dilemma as I REALLY wanted a picture of the funny squash but on the other hand if I'd gone back and it had gone I would know SHE'D bought it and this would have made me wee.
If only every day at work could be so entertaining.
Wednesday 21 July 2010
Magnolia Convulsions
Today has been a day off... which means I've spent all day sweating my ass off painting random parts of the house.
The house is a bit of a dump, we rent and have been here for over 8 years, the guy who owned the place before our landlord was a complete bodge merchant and both the quality and style of decoration is poor, to say the least. Our bedroom used to have dark jade lower walls and dark terracotta upper walls, it was the stuff nightmares are made of.
We have managed over time to sort out a couple of rooms, but most of the house is covered in my arch-nemesis... woodchip. I loathe and detest woodchip with an unholy passion, anyone caught using it should be hung, drawn, quartered, buried in a pit full of fire ants, dug up again, danced on by elephants wearing stillettos and fed to bears, at the very least.
The biggest problem with the foul stuff (other than the fact that it's a bastard to remove) is that it's usually put up by lazy ass types to hide less than perfect walls... so if you do manage to get it off you then have the walls to sort out as well. The other big problem is that it's used a lot by tightwads who then paint it with magnolia emulsion and you end up with a room that looks like someone has gone to town with several gallons of this stuff...
The house is a bit of a dump, we rent and have been here for over 8 years, the guy who owned the place before our landlord was a complete bodge merchant and both the quality and style of decoration is poor, to say the least. Our bedroom used to have dark jade lower walls and dark terracotta upper walls, it was the stuff nightmares are made of.
We have managed over time to sort out a couple of rooms, but most of the house is covered in my arch-nemesis... woodchip. I loathe and detest woodchip with an unholy passion, anyone caught using it should be hung, drawn, quartered, buried in a pit full of fire ants, dug up again, danced on by elephants wearing stillettos and fed to bears, at the very least.
The biggest problem with the foul stuff (other than the fact that it's a bastard to remove) is that it's usually put up by lazy ass types to hide less than perfect walls... so if you do manage to get it off you then have the walls to sort out as well. The other big problem is that it's used a lot by tightwads who then paint it with magnolia emulsion and you end up with a room that looks like someone has gone to town with several gallons of this stuff...
Tuesday 20 July 2010
You know you're getting old when...
...you're importing a CD into iTunes and notice in the sidebar the Top Songs at least half of which seem to be by people you've never heard of, featuring other people you've never heard of.
Does no-one make records on their own anymore? Are they all so insecure that they have to have someone else to blame if it all goes tits-up? Is it the musical equivalent of a wingman?
Anyways... the one which really caught my eye for some reason: Enrique Iglesias ft. Pitbull. Now I have a lovely mental picture of this involving a smug popstar running at high speed chased by a rabid dog. Please don't disabuse me of this, I like my version and I'm sticking with it.
Does no-one make records on their own anymore? Are they all so insecure that they have to have someone else to blame if it all goes tits-up? Is it the musical equivalent of a wingman?
Anyways... the one which really caught my eye for some reason: Enrique Iglesias ft. Pitbull. Now I have a lovely mental picture of this involving a smug popstar running at high speed chased by a rabid dog. Please don't disabuse me of this, I like my version and I'm sticking with it.
Sunday 18 July 2010
Remember, we do it so you don't have too...
Just a few little words of advice...
When waiting to pull out of a junction, ensure BEFORE mouthing very offensive road rage sentiments at the car pootling down the main road and holding you up that it is not being driven by your boss.
Never assume that there is ANYTHING too worthless to be stolen. Yes, I'm looking at you sad person who stole cloves of garlic from the supermarket by peeling them off a bulb that would have cost you a grand total of 35p.
When crawling around in the back of your new "dogmobile" arranging the beds for the optimum comfort of the hounds, try to remember that the row of seats you removed to make more space were attached to VERY substantial lumps of metal which WILL do permanent damage to your knee when you kneel on them.
If you dream that there is a very large, terrifying monster in your house and that the only way to scare it away is to roar louder than it does, listen to that little voice that is telling you that you're dreaming. Your bedmate will not appreciate being awoken by your lion impression and will make sure to bring it up in public as often as humanly possible.
When waiting to pull out of a junction, ensure BEFORE mouthing very offensive road rage sentiments at the car pootling down the main road and holding you up that it is not being driven by your boss.
Never assume that there is ANYTHING too worthless to be stolen. Yes, I'm looking at you sad person who stole cloves of garlic from the supermarket by peeling them off a bulb that would have cost you a grand total of 35p.
When crawling around in the back of your new "dogmobile" arranging the beds for the optimum comfort of the hounds, try to remember that the row of seats you removed to make more space were attached to VERY substantial lumps of metal which WILL do permanent damage to your knee when you kneel on them.
If you dream that there is a very large, terrifying monster in your house and that the only way to scare it away is to roar louder than it does, listen to that little voice that is telling you that you're dreaming. Your bedmate will not appreciate being awoken by your lion impression and will make sure to bring it up in public as often as humanly possible.
Saturday 17 July 2010
It is as I always suspected...
... we are indeed, very batty.
Having been shown by Batwoman yesterday the most likely entrances to the roost, we stood last night and watched them fly out. We counted at least 30 and we know they are raising young, amazed that there are so many there, we had no idea!
We also have house sparrows nesting in the loft (yet another "at risk" in this country), I became quite giddy at the thought of hosting a sanctuary for endagered and at risk critters and asked Bod when the Orangutans would be arriving.
Having been shown by Batwoman yesterday the most likely entrances to the roost, we stood last night and watched them fly out. We counted at least 30 and we know they are raising young, amazed that there are so many there, we had no idea!
We also have house sparrows nesting in the loft (yet another "at risk" in this country), I became quite giddy at the thought of hosting a sanctuary for endagered and at risk critters and asked Bod when the Orangutans would be arriving.
Waiting for Batwoman
I am awaiting the arrival of a lady who is coming to look at the bats in our loft.
Sadly, and much to my dear husbands disappointment, her "batmobile" is an aging Saab with a rather loud brake squeek. Oh, and she doesn't wear a cape and tights, or at least not out in public, what she gets up to in the privacy of her own home I have no idea.
I am also waiting for the dogs toys to finish their joy ride in the tumble drier. I would have hung them out but the weather at the moment is changeable to say the least. Anyway,it's MUCH more entertaining to watch Tigger, Gromit, Lamby, Snakey1 and Snakey2, Octopus and assorted others whizzing around in the drum... or maybe I'm just a little twisted.
Sadly, and much to my dear husbands disappointment, her "batmobile" is an aging Saab with a rather loud brake squeek. Oh, and she doesn't wear a cape and tights, or at least not out in public, what she gets up to in the privacy of her own home I have no idea.
I am also waiting for the dogs toys to finish their joy ride in the tumble drier. I would have hung them out but the weather at the moment is changeable to say the least. Anyway,it's MUCH more entertaining to watch Tigger, Gromit, Lamby, Snakey1 and Snakey2, Octopus and assorted others whizzing around in the drum... or maybe I'm just a little twisted.
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